Thursday, April 8, 2010

[Cookie 072] Cream Cheese Walnut Cookies

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I think it's time I start getting real with all of you. Yeah, I seem so nice and lovely and admirable and fantastic and funny and brilliant and modest and everything great on this blog (shut up, don't argue), but the truth is, I'm not all sugar and spice and everything nice. I hate Starbucks and Whole Foods and think you shouldn't ever patronize either store, I can't stand Christmas songs, and I have absolutely no problem with the lyrics and message of this song:



Man, I really do love that song. So, is anyone still reading this? Have I alienated all of you yet? I just thought, you know, you should know a little bit more about the real me. Did I mention my finger nails are painted black today? Yeah WHADDUP don't fuck with me.

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Okay, that's enough for now. I promise I'm not bipolar or that I suffer from multiple personalities or anything like that. Here, if I offended you, here's a recipe for some kick ass cookies that will make you forget everything you've just read in this entry.

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These Cream Cheese Walnut Cookies are insanely addictive, and so simple. I actually thought that the recipe was going to be another one of those Martha recipes that wasn't fully edited and was missing key ingredients, but it worked out just right. The cream cheese is perfect and provides this hint of savoriness and tartness that's really awesome. Oh and don't even get me started about the dough...I nearly ate it all, alone. So not only am I a total badass, but a pathetic one at that.

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Oh and be forewarned: I halved this recipe and still had a massive amount of cookies. This is good, and bad. Good because who doesn't like a lot of cookies?? Bad because bikini season is right around the corner. You weigh the pros and cons.

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So, I hope this was an enlightening read for you. I hope you all start following Lil Wayne on twitter, because he'll be updating from jail through Lil Twist supposedly. And I mean seriously, his tweets are pretty great.

Cream Cheese Walnut Cookies
Makes about 4 dozen

Ingredients
  • 4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/4 teaspoons coarse salt
  • 2 cups (4 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
  • 6 ounces cream cheese, (not whipped) room temperature
  • 1 1/4 cups sugar
  • 2 tablespoons plus 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups walnut halves (1 1/2 cups toasted and coarsely chopped), 1 cup finely chopped

Directions
  1. Whisk together flour and salt in a large bowl; set aside. Put butter and cream cheese in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on medium speed until pale and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Mix in sugar and vanilla. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture, and mix until just combined (do not overmix). Mix in toasted walnuts.
  2. Transfer dough to a work surface. Divide in half; shape each half into an 8 1/2-inch long log about 2 inches in diameter. Wrap each log in parchment paper; freeze until firm, about 30 minutes or up to 2 weeks.
  3. Preheat oven to 350 with racks in upper and lower thirds. Unwrap 1 log, and roll in 1/2 cup chopped walnuts, coating completely. Cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds. Space 1 inch apart on baking sheets lined with parchment paper.
  4. Bake cookies, rotating halfway through, until golden around edges, 18 to 20 minutes. Let cool on sheets on wire racks. Repeat with remaining log and remaining 1/2 cup chopped walnuts. Cookies can be stored in airtight containers at room temperature up to 3 days.

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{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 3/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 4/5
Tastiness: 4/5
Attractiveness: 3.5/5 (The toasted nuts look like purdy lil' gems...ain't that sweet)
Is it worth it?: Yes, it really is. These things are very very tasty.

{Pairings}
Drink: Blood, Absinthe, or seven shots of Jack Daniels--depending on how badass you are feeling. Or combine them all!
Song: Roger That -- Young Money
Activity: Stealing candy from a baby

10 comments:

Snooky doodle said...

what an interesting recipe. I really like it :)

Suhaina said...

Wow. Looks super yummyyy.
I am drooling.

Adriana said...

lol... i seriously love your blog... you crack me up... there's very few blogs i follow for real like... omg did she publish yet? me and my roommate read your recipes just to laugh a little bit... at least someone keeping it real! not like... ohhhh, my recipes are awesome and i'm so cool! well, you are cool, or seem cool, or both... nevermind! those cookies look delicious! and i loved the post, as usual!

Patricia Scarpin said...

Lizzie, your cookies are always so pretty, I feel like baking them all! I love these, they look so tender! And you're all fancy chopping up the nuts with a mezza luna... ;)

I could not bring myself to play the video because Lil Wayne is much too ugly, I'll have nightmares for a week. :D

screwdestiny said...

I got exactly 8 seconds into that song before turning that shit off. Lol. But I will still read and enjoy your blog.

Davon Jacobson, Md said...

The cookies look wonderful. I have never seen these types before. I will be sure to give them a try. The lil' wayne video was really funny and it opened me up to your blog. Keep up the great work with your articles and please stop by my health blog sometime. The web address is http://healthy-nutrition-facts.blogspot.com/.

Barbara said...

All I can say is, "This is your mother, here."

How To Be Perfect said...

Hi Hun
Thanks for your lovely comments as you are now well aware I'm a big fan of your blog so when I recieved this Sunshine Award I decided to pass it on to you.

http://theartofbeingperfect.blogspot.com/2010/04/sunshine-award.html

x x x

Cake Diva said...

Hi I saw your link on “the art of being perfect” blog. I must say that I like your sense of humor on your blog about cookies. You’re being followed. I love cookies too and also love that Video!! I love me some lil Wayne.


-Diva

Sara said...

LOL your confessions are hilarious and your pictures are awesome. Just found your blog, btw. Aaaand now I'm off to make those delicious looking carrot cake cookie sandwiches....because i worship the ground carrot cake walks on.

looking forward to more posts!
-sara