Tuesday, August 18, 2009

[Cookie 034] Coconut Biscuits

Coconut Biscuits

Apologies in advance for this post. If I wasn't so devoted to writing about each and every recipe from The Book, I would readily toss this recipe for Coconut Biscuits aside and move on to something--anything--else in the book.

Spatula, Rolling Pin, and Cookie Cutter

Usually, when it comes to Martha's less-than-decent recipes, I like to talk about what I found wrong with the recipe and then speculate on why it went awry and how it could be fixed. But, in all honesty, this recipe must have been a huge typo. It just doesn't make sense. The dough is comprised of flour, coconut, sugar, and a few spices. And water to get it to be of a doughy consistency. No butter. No eggs. Nada. Whuhh???

Coconut from Nicole's

And the resultant cookie tasted exactly like you would expect from a recipe that is essentially flour and water. It was hard as a rock, yet a bit chewy. Sweet, coconutty, but texturally a complete disaster. And I just can't believe that Martha would have ever been serious about this. Why, Martha, WHY????

Coconut Biscuits

I guess I'll give you the recipe. For those adventurous chefs out there: If you somehow manage to make this work, or just happen to like it the way it is, do let me know! Am I crazy, or does this recipe just not sound right?

Coconut Biscuits

Coconut Biscuits
Makes 40

Ingredients
  • 1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • Sanding sugar, for sprinkling
Directions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Toast coconut on a rimmed baking sheet in oven, stirring often, until golden brown, about 10 minutes. Let cool completely.
  2. Stir together flour, granulated sugar, coconut, nutmeg, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl. Stir in water, 1 tablespoon at a time, until mixture forms a stiff dough (about 5 tablespoons water total). Form the dough into a rectangle. Wrap dough in plastic, and refrigerate until firm, about 15 minutes.
  3. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Roll out dough to 1/8 inch thick on a lightly floured piece of parchment paper. Transfer dough on parchment to a baking sheet. Refrigerate until firm, about 15 minutes.
  4. Cut dough into 40 small rectangles (about 1 1/4-by-2 1/2 inches each) using a sharp knife. Transfer biscuits to parchment- lined baking sheets using a thin spatula. Lightly brush tops with water. Sprinkle with sanding sugar. Bake until biscuits just turn golden brown, about 11 minutes. Let cool on sheets on wire racks. Biscuits can be stored in an airtight container, up to 1 day.
****
{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 1.5/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 2/5 (Considering there are basically no ingredients...)
Tastiness: 0/5 (Yeah.)
Attractiveness: 2.5/5
Is it worth it?: No, end of story.

{Pairings}
Drink: Water? Or maybe something fruity and tropical?
Song: Spit it Out -- Brendan Benson
Activity: Finding a new, better recipe

8 comments:

Barbara E said...

Could you be more blunt about this? You didn't like it??

Actually, having tasted it, I agree - yuck.

Anne said...

I like the accompanying song. Are you going in order? Why couldn't you have left this for the end? Although, it would have been a pretty lame way to end, with a watery biscuit. Oh well, I guess they all can't be good.

Kim said...

LOL!! - Great pick for the song. Too bad they didn't turn out. I agree with you about the recipe. Something is a little off there.

Patricia Scarpin said...

I'm sorry to hear that, Lizzie... But some recipes just don't work out and maybe weren't revised at all prior to being published. I love all things coconut and recommend Martha's "coconut balls" if you haven't tried them yet. They are great and very simple to make (4 ingredients if I'm not mistaken).

zested said...

That's pretty funny. I know nothing about baking and even that list doesn't seem quite right to me!

jfklds said...

haha! the song..

Jessica said...

I love how you posted this, even though you rated the recipe 0/5! I think sometimes we forget that cooking doesn't always yield perfect, Martha Stewart cookies that taste delicious.

DothNotWisdomCryOut said...

It sounds to me like it just needs some cold butter cut in and it'd make biscuit-like cookies. The rest of the directions seem like they're for biscuits. That would make them flakier and yummier probably.

The only thing that uses just water as the liquid is bread. Its just wrong for cookies.