Wednesday, April 22, 2009

[Cookie 010] Butter Twists

Butter Buttons

So, in my efforts to catch up on my cookie-a-week thing, I decided to make these super easy, minimal ingredient Butter Twists. "Awesome--I have all the ingredients on hand! These will be easy and adorable and fast. Perfect activity for procrastinating on all my finals!" Wrong. Well, the procrastination part was right, but everything else failed. Okay, they can't all be winners Martha, but I sort of question why you included these in the book. Maybe I'm being a little extreme, but honestly, these just don't hold a candle to most of your other recipes.

Crumbly Dough

Here's the deal. In the picture next to the recipe, you show these darling little puffed-up twists, smooth and beautifully formed; very Martha-esque. Yes, I know it's your thing to make everything look perfect and precise, but I honestly do not understand how anyone is supposed to manage forming the dough into those twists! To be fair, maybe I put the wrong amount of something into the dough (too much flour?) but I highly doubt it. The dough was really dry and crumbly, so rolling it into balls and then into ropes for twisting was impossible without the dough breaking and cracking all over the place.

Butter Twist Won't Twist!

Case and point. Look at that "rope." Awful. And the end result? Well, I only managed to form 1 "twist," the rest I made into little spirals for the first batch...

Sad
Butter Twist Fail

Laughable.
Do you see the "correct" version? Martha, please!

Truly, after the first batch came out of the oven, I was sad. And the flavor is pretty boring too, just a plain butter cookie. Anyways, while they were baking, I had the genius idea to keep the dough in the refrigerator, even though the dough was already dry and crumbly! I should have left it out so it could soften, but no, I was an idiot. Result? Even more aggravation! I ended up just forming (or attempting to) little balls, or buttons as I like to call them. Butter buttons sounds cute, even though they actually aren't! Oh, and to spice things up, I tried to make them thumbprint cookies with chocolate chips, but thumbprinting the dough basically caused the balls to explode. Great.

Bust Out the Chips
Butter Button
One of my best cookies, sadly

Yeah, so in short, these were a disappointment. I think that maybe next time I could try wetting my hands when rolling the dough, but even if the cookies are formed as flawlessly as the ones Martha made, the flavor is nothing memorable. I suppose they make a good foundation cookie for one to add other ingredients to, like chocolate chips, sanding sugar, icing, whatever, but I dunno. Not really my thing, personally.

Another glamour shot of my homely cookies:

Butter "Twists"

Butter Twists

Ingredients
  • 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter , softened
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 1 large egg white
  • 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
Directions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put butter and sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; mix on medium speed until creamy. Mix in vanilla and egg white. Reduce speed to low. Add salt and flour; mix until combined.
  2. Roll dough into 3/4-inch balls. Roll each ball into a 6-inch log. Bend log in half, then twist. Space 1 inch apart on baking sheets lined with parchment paper.
  3. Bake, rotating halfway through, until cookies just begin to turn golden, 13 to 15 minutes. Let cool on parchment on wire racks. Cookies can be stored in airtight containers at room temperature up to 3 days.
****

{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 3/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 5/5
Tastiness: 2/5
Attractiveness: 0/5 (Ooh, my first zero!)
Is it worth it?: I don't think so, but they aren't gross; just boring and ugly.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

ooh! you so just #1 bitch slapped martha. you should make a little category on the side of your blog for all the cookies that resulted in martha gettin slapped like a bitch.

Anonymous said...

hey lizzie, it's claire. whoever wrote that other comment is totally right. they sure did hit the nail on the head. Anyway, I like the cute and creative title of "butter button". i wish someone would call me butter button. I wish someone would pat me on the head and call me butter button. I wish you were that person. I want to be your butter button. I want you to slather me with butter and drizzle buttons on me.

Anonymous said...

okay I want you to know that I just wrote a letter as you, writing to me. it's a love letter, a letter of longing, while you're away at war. (civil war) . and it was really good but just too humiliating to put on your blog which yo mom will probz read and it was just too humiliating. but i want you to know that i wrote it and it was so sensual and cathartic for me to carry out my inner most fantasy. that you are a man and we are in love during civil war times

Coco Bean said...

Ha ha ha, I just died lauging.(sorry) That has happened to me. I think you add oil, or was it milk.. to the dough, it should soften it up.
And yes, you did bitch slap martha. good job.

Barbara Eisenstein said...

Yes Lizzie's mother is reading this blog.

mushroommeadows said...

but they look so good to me! :)

Anonymous said...

I never ever had a Martha Stewart recipe turn out right. I don't think they every tested a single one. Just my $0.02

Anonymous said...

If you're interested in "why" you had those results, consult Cooking Illustrated books and/or magazines. They break down results and give you the reasons certain ingredients fail or succeed. I'd much rather cook or bake my way thru one of their books. Even better, Julie Child's books. Good luck.