AWwoowowooowWWWOOOowowoOOOooooOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

GHOST OF A LONG DEAD BLOG COMIN' BACK TO HAUNT YOU!!!!! I SHALL RETURN!!!!!

AND I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE, IT IS EXACTLY SIX MONTHS TO THE DAY SINCE MY LAST POST! SPOOOOOOOOOKY!!!!!!!!

[Cookie 102] Raisin Bars

I hate blogging. I like baking, I like baking all these cookies, I like sharing them, I like you readers (most of you), and I like taking pictures, but I don't like updating this thing. I mean seriously, does anyone actually like to do that? Okay, I guess a lot of people.

Forgive me. And you will, once you make these Raisin Bars.

Some notes: The filling is really rad, but would be even radder if you used figs or prunes. Or a combination. Remember these fig bars? They had the most amazing filling, with red wine, honey, and (duh) figs. That would taste pretty damn good in this oatmeal crust. Probz better than the fig bar pastry crust, which was mediocre.

Hope you are having a nice spring! More posts, more often, I promise. I make no promise on the quality or attitude of them.

P.S. Just read over some old posts. Not sure if I should feel hideously embarrassed about this whole blog and my writing, or proud of my sharp tongue and slick wit. I'm going to go with the former.

Raisin Bars

Makes 16 wimpy, or 9 fatty squares

Ingredients

• Unsalted butter, softened, for baking sheet
• 2 cups raisins (about 13 ounces)
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon cornstarch
• 1/2 cup apple cider
• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 1/4 teaspoons coarse salt
• 1 1/4 cups vegetable shortening
• 1 1/4 cups packed light-brown sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 1/4 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 2 1/2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 10-by-15-inch rimmed baking sheet. Line bottom with parchment paper, and butter parchment; set sheet aside.

2. Make filling: Pulse raisins and sugar in a food processor until almost pureed. Transfer to a saucepan. Whisk cornstarch into 1 cup cold water; whisk into raisin mixture. Stir in cider. Simmer over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, until mixture thickens and sugar has dissolved, about 6 minutes.
   Let cool completely.

3. Make dough: Whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl; set aside. Put shortening in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on medium speed until smooth. Add brown sugar, and mix until pale and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Add egg and vanilla, and mix until combined. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture; mix until just combined. Mix in oats.

4. Press half the dough into prepared baking sheet. Spread raisin filling evenly over top of dough. Crumble remaining dough on top of filling using your fingers, gently pressing down so that topping covers filling. Bake, rotating sheet halfway through, until top is golden brown, about 35 minutes. Let cool completely in sheet on a wire rack. Cut into 2-inch
   squares. Bars can be stored between layers of parchment in airtight containers at room temperature up to 5 days.

****

{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 3/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 4/5
Tastiness: 4/5
Attractiveness: 2.5/5
Is it worth it?: Yeah bro

{Pairings}

Drink: Apple cider

Song: Friday -- Rebecca Black (no link, I'm not that mean--just trying to keep up with pop culture here!)
Activity: Write my blog 4 me cuz i am lazee

[Cookie 101] Cream Cheese Swirl Blondies

So, I don't know if anyone noticed or cared, but I'm not doing the roundup of the past 10 recipes and reviewing them all. I barely have enough time (read: I barely have enough willpower) to write the regular blog posts here, so I'm getting rid of the excess baggage. I don't think I'm letting anyone down. Right? Yeah, I doubt anyone even knows what I'm talking about. Good.

Aaaanyways, let's get on to the first cookie of the new centennial! Cream Cheese Swirl Blondies are probably not one of the recipes you've been itching to make. Me neither--they definitely weren't one of the recipes I've had my eye on for a while. They just sort of slipped under my radar and I always figured I'd make them some time, just not now. Well, I finally made them on a whim one afternoon, and they totally warranted my indifference. They were bland, boring looking, and pretty drab. I mean seriously--look at them! Totally lame.

I guess this is the part where I generally try to convince you to make these cookies because they are actually better than they look or something, but I'm not going to try and deceive you. If you want blondies, make these (even though I screwed up that recipe royally, I think that they are probably supposed to be delicious). But these guys, these guys here...they taste more like a quick bread, like banana bread without the bananas. And who would want that? Nobody! And the cream cheese? Well, at least they had that, but it wasn't enough to keep me interested.

Now, maybe you're not convinced not to make these, and you still want to. Well, maybe you could spice them up a bit--literally, add a little nutmeg or cinnamon. Or maybe stir in some chocolate swirls, or even add some nuts. Something. Anything. Oh, or try adding a streusel topping! That always makes things better.

Well, I guess I don't have much to say other than that. The recipe is super simple and it's always mildly entertaining getting to swirl two batters together like this. But other than that, I'd pass this guy up.

I'm starting to realize that all the recipes I have left to bake are either: A) Totally time consuming and tedious; B) Way too fatty to make just for 3 people; C) Or both. Hm. Well, my obsessive-compulsive desire to finish the project still prevails, so I guess you'll see how this all turns out.

c u l8r

Cream Cheese Swirl Blondies

Makes 9 large or 16 small squares

Ingredients

11 tablespoons (1 stick plus 3 tablespoons) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pan

1 2/3 cups plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup packed light-brown sugar

3 large eggs

1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

6 ounces cream cheese, room temperature

1/4 cup sugar

Directions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line a buttered 8-inch square baking pan with parchment, allowing a 2-inch overhang. Butter lining (excluding overhang); set pan aside.

Whisk together 1 2/3 cups flour, the baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl, and set aside.

Put 9 tablespoons butter and the brown sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; mix on medium speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add 2 eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla; mix until combined. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture, mix, scraping down sides of bowl, until well combined. Transfer to a large bowl.

Put cream cheese, granulated sugar, remaining 2 tablespoons butter, 2 tablespoons flour, 1 egg, and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla into the clean bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; beat on medium speed until just smooth.

Pour half the blondie batter into prepared pan, and spread evenly with an offset spatula. Spoon two-thirds of cream-cheese mixture on top, and spread evenly. Drop dollops of remaining batter on top (spacing about 1 inch apart), and spread. Top with dollops of remaining cream-cheese mixture, about 1 inch apart.

Gently swirl cream cheese mixture into batter with a butter knife, running the knife lengthwise and crosswise through layers. Bake until golden brown and a cake tester inserted into center comes out with a few crumbs but is not wet, 45 to 47 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack before cutting into squares. Blondies can be stored between layers of parchment in an airtight container at room temperature up to 2 days.

****

{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 2/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 4/5
Tastiness: 2/5
Attractiveness: 2/5
Is it worth it?: To put it plainly, no. But then again, they require zero effort.

{Pairings}

Drink: Nothing. Seltzer?

Song: Saw the Smith Westerns play last night, and now I am even more in love with them than before. Their single Weekend is adorable x 100000 and has a great music video.
Activity: Skip making these, and just listen to them ^

[Cookie 100] Ginger Cheesecake Bars

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

GODDDDDDDDDDDDD!

100 cookies. I am now realizing that this makes me certifiably insane and totally nerdy, this whole endeavor that is. Sometimes it takes some sort of monumental event or milestone to really wake you up, and this is it. What the hell have I been doing for the past 2 years? Speaking of which, I think this is exactly my two year mark! Holy shit DOUBLE CELEBRATION OVER HERE! Two years ago, it was recipe number 001: Pfeffernussen! Whack! Seems like forever ago!! I am so excited right now even though it's raining outside, I just bought an umbrella that already broke, and I had to commute to school on my day off at 8:30 in the morning to return a (really sexy) camera and now I'm scanning negatives for hours. I am still, despite these banalities, living life ON THE EDGE with this super cool and respectable blog.

Enough of that. I wish I had baked something really beautiful and celebratory and covered in sprinkles and on fire or something in order to really celebrate this day, but I didn't realize I was baking my 100th recipe when I picked out this one. Actually, to be fair, my ol' pal/roommate picked this one out for her birthday, so really it makes this cookie a TRIPLE CELEBRATION. I really should have set off some fireworks or something.

But it's okay that I didn't, because the cookies (or shall I say, bars) are awesome anyways. Like, real good. Really really good, even if you're not really a cheesecake fan, like me. They are light as far as cheesecakes go, and the gingersnap crust combined with the candied ginger in the cheesecake is a perfect balance to the creamy and rich flavor of the cheesecake itself. Perfect. I would make these again, I'm telling you right now. They were gone very very fast.

Now, if you're like me and you like to leave your kitchen appliances at your friends' apartments and forget about them until you actually need them, you probably know all about getting around without a food processor. This recipe really needs one in order to grind up the gingersnap cookies, but when you gotta make do, you gotta make do. Enter: empty liquor bottles! Pullin' out the old Nancy Drew card, yeah!

See, it totally works. You don't even need the food processor now! Well, it's not that simple, especially if you buy the gingersnaps sold at Met which are actually made out of cement. You really gotta use force with that bottle, and make sure to wrap the cookies up in several bags so you don't make a mess. And then use a grater/zester lid to sift through the crumbs and weed out the bigger chunks. Repeat. It's like panning for gold, but with more aggression!

After all that work, the rest is easy. Mix a little here, bake a little there. The hardest part is having to wait for it to cool, and THEN having to wait another hour while it chills in the fridge. We didn't really wait that long. No regrets. But do make sure to bake it fully if you really want that cheesecake consistency. We also didn't do that. It was a little soupy and too soft. It was damn good. No regrets there either.

Alright, so, in conclusion: these taste downright delicious and you should make them. Sooner rather than later, because trust me, as soon as you try one you'll be kicking yourself as to why you hadn't made them yesterday. Sure, they ain't much to look at, but they got it where it counts. That felt weird to type. I need a nice concluding witticism for this post. I'll just end it here.

Ginger Cheesecake Bars

Makes about 4 dozen

Ingredients

Vegetable-oil cooking spray

12 ounces store-bought gingersnaps (about 45 cookies)

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted

12 ounces cream cheese, room temperature

3/4 cup sugar

1 large egg

1 large egg yolk

3 tablespoons sour cream

3/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 tablespoons finely chopped crystallized ginger

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat a 9-by-13-inch rimmed baking sheet with cooking spray; set aside. Place gingersnaps in a food processor; pulse to a powder. Transfer to a small bowl, and stir in butter until well combined. Press gingersnap mixture evenly into bottom of prepared baking sheet. Bake crust until firm, about 12 minutes. Let cool completely.

Meanwhile, put cream cheese in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; mix on medium speed until softened. Mix in sugar, egg, egg yolk, sour cream, and vanilla until well combined. Mix in crystallized ginger.

Pour the cream cheese mixture onto crust, and spread evenly with a rubber spatula. Bake, rotating sheet halfway through, until filling has puffed and feels slightly firm to the touch (do not let brown), 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack. Refrigerate, covered with plastic wrap, until set, about 1 hour. To serve, cut into bars. Bars can be refrigerated in single layers in airtight containers up to 2 days.

****

{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 3/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 4/5
Tastiness: 5/5
Attractiveness: 2/5
Is it worth it?: Worth going to the gym for, or skipping the gym for that matter.

{Pairings}

Drink: Water. Bacardi? Ew no.

Song: This was really awesome too!
Activity: Lighting fireworks--someone please do it.

[Cookie 099] Coconut Swirl Brownies

So now that I'm back in America, I'm eatin' all the foods I really missed while in Ghana and trying to get over my obsession with Waakye. When it comes to baking, I'm really glad to be back because it was impossible to find the right ingredients without paying an arm and a leg, but more importantly, baking in 95º weather isn't really so hot (pun intended! see what i did there?). But the longer I'm here in NYC and the more I get readjusted, the more I miss the little things that I had every day while in Accra. For one, plantains. And coconut. Good god, getting a fresh, young coconut on the side of the street from a guy who would chop it open for less than 35 cents was pretty unbeatable. Also, condensed milk. Strange, I know, but they aren't really all that into fresh milk there (I think this is pretty common in most non-Western cultures actually...I think us Westerners are the weird ones drinking another animal's baby food). Anyway, I got really into putting condensed milk in my morning coffee. So of course when I came across this recipe for Coconut Swirl Brownies with condensed milk, I knew I had to make it for our first Ghana reunion!

Now, if I was able to buy chocolate more easily and cheaply while in Ghana, I most definitely would have made these in an instant. I had the strongest craving for brownies while I was there (and I wasn't the only one, fyi), but I think West Africa exports most their cocoa products, so the only chocolate you could get was super expensive imported Western brands like Cadbury and I just couldn't afford that ish!

But these brownies would have been so worth it. They are super fudgy, dense, and chocolatey--not dry at all. And the swirls of coconut/condensed-milk goodness are just awesome. Everyone liked them at the little reunion we had. They made me so popular. I am happier now having made these. Soooooo....I'm not trying to suggest anything about your own popularity....but......ya know, if you're feeling a little lonely, these brownies could keep you warm at night. Happy belated Valentines Day.

P.S. Thanks so much to all of you who gave me such great recommendations, tips, and recipes regarding biscotti! I'll be sure to use them for the next biscotti recipe.

Coconut Swirl Brownies

Makes 9 large or 16 small brownies

Ingredients

1/2 cup unsalted butter, cut into small pieces, plus more for pan

3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar

1/3 cup sweetened condensed milk

2/3 cup unsweetened shredded coconut

1 large egg white

2 1/4 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped

4 ounces semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

2/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon coarse salt

3 large eggs

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a buttered 8-inch square baking pan with parchment, allowing a 2-inch overhang. Butter lining (not overhang).

Stir together 1 tablespoon of sugar, the condensed milk, coconut, egg white, and 1/4 teaspoon of the vanilla in a bowl.

Put butter and both chocolates in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water; stir until melted. Let cool slightly.

Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a bowl.

Whisk remaining 3/4 cup sugar into chocolate mixture. Add eggs; whisk until mixture is smooth. Stir in remaining 2 teaspoons vanilla. Add flour mixture; stir until well combined.

Pour 1/3 of chocolate batter into prepared pan. Spread evenly with an offset spatula. Drop dollops of coconut mixture (about 1 tablespoon each) on top of batter, spacing about 1 inch apart. Drizzle remaining batter on top, and gently spread to fill pan. Drop dollops of remaining coconut mixture on top.

Gently swirl coconut mixture into batter with a butter knife, running the knife lengthwise and crosswise through layers. Bake until a cake tester inserted into brownies (avoid center and edges) comes out with a few crumbs but is not wet, 35 to 40 minutes. Let cool slightly in pan, about 15 minutes. Lift out; let cool completely on a wire rack before cutting into squares. Brownies can be stored between layers of parchment in an airtight container at room temperature up to 2 days.

****

{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 3/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 3.5/5
Tastiness: 4.5/5
Attractiveness: 4/5
Is it worth it?: Yeah. Seriously, this is a brownie's brownie!

{Pairings}

Drink: Milk, duh. Whaddya some kinda idiot?

Song: Aben wo aha -- Daddy Lumba (this one is worth watching/hearing!)
Activity: Uh, I dunno, figure it out.

[Cookie 098] Chocolate-Pistachio Biscotti

Oh, Biscotti, bane of my existence. I just can't get you! You look so good, and have so much potential to be a cookie far better than its Starbuck's facsimile, but alas! You quiver at my very touch, collapse when I even look at you, and fail to be anything more than a broken pile of bones.

FOOD PHOTOGRAPHY AT ITS FINEST!!!!

Our relationship is a failed one. I have tried to make your kind before, and had the same qualms. Maybe it is Martha's directing that keeps getting in the way of our friendship, or maybe it's my lack of any Italian blood in me, but regardless, we just don't understand each other too well. I feel like a failed Professor Frankenstein (bare with me...): I have put the body together, it's laying on my operating table, and all I have to do now is give it some life. Put you into the oven and hope that when I take you out, you'll be walkin' and talkin' and puttin' on the ritz just like I had hoped. But no! I take you out of the oven after your first bake, and I try to slice ya up, and you COLLAPSE! LIKE A BUNCH OF BROCCOLI! (Anyone still getting the Young Frankenstein references, besides my dad?)

But seriously, what the hell, Biscotti? Maybe I'm just a slow learner, since I had these same issues with you last time, but whenever I try to slice you after par-baking you, you fall apart. I should have just learned to bake you longer than the recipe says for the first time, but noooo, I had to follow the directions and ignore my better judgment.

Biscotti and Young Frankenstein aside, I also didn't really like the chocolate and pistachio flavor combination. To me, they just don't taste good together! Something about the hearty, savory nature of a pistachio, paired with another intense, dark flavor like chocolate, didn't really work for me. Pistachio and citrus, yes; chocolate and almond, DUH; but pistachio and chocolate, not so much...Am I crazy here, or do you guys agree too?

All in all, this recipe ended up producing a heavy chocolate cookie that was more like a hybrid between an almost-biscotti, and a brownie. They are very intense and chocolaty, and could be a really nice cookie if you didn't think of them like biscotti, and maybe substituted a different nut for the pistachio. So, when it comes down to it, I didn't like this recipe. Fortunately, there is still one more biscotti recipe in The Book, so maybe the third times a charm...

Chocolate-Pistachio Biscotti

Ingredients

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for baking sheet

2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for baking sheet

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup sugar

2 large eggs

1 cup shelled pistachio nuts

1/2 cup chocolate chips

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour a baking sheet; set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs; beat until well combined, scraping down sides of bowl if necessary. Add flour mixture, and stir to form a stiff dough. Stir in pistachios and chocolate chips.

Transfer dough to prepared baking sheet; form into a slightly flattened log, about 12 by 4 inches. Bake until slightly firm, about 25 minutes. Cool on a wire rack for about 5 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 300 degrees.

On a cutting board, using a sharp serrated knife, cut biscotti diagonally into 1-inch-thick slices. Arrange biscotti, cut sides down, on baking sheet, and bake until crisp but still slightly soft in the center, about 8 minutes.

****

{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 4/5
Ingredient Accessibility: 4/5
Tastiness: 2/5
Attractiveness: 2.5/5
Is it worth it?: If it tasted good, I'd say yeah, but since I didn't even like the flavor, the effort was not worth it. Boo.

{Pairings}

Drink: They are super chocolatey, so milk would be good. Or coffee/cappuccino, according to traditional biscotti makers.

Song: I Should Have Known Better -- The Beatles (this clip gets me every time...to be on that train! Swoon!)
Activity: Watch Young Frankenstein instead of making these.

[Cookie 097] Cream Cheese-Lemon Bows

THERE IS SO MUCH GODDAMN SNOW EVERYWHERE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Oh my God!! The Mayans were right--they are sending us signals by burying the entirety of New York City under 85 feet of snow. I walked home last night, late, and there was so much snow I couldn't actually see any of the cars parked on the streets, and couldn't see where the sidewalks ended and the streets began! White blanket of snow everywhere, nothing is spared! Armageddon is here! It's all going to be over by 2012! But at least school was cancelled today :)

Thanks, New York Times, for capturing our misery.

During trying times like these, I like to hark back to the days of yore, when I was passing my winter days in 70-80º weather in the land of Southern California. Those times were easy, carefree, and the sun was always kind to us. I never wore more than 1 sweater at a time and didn't fall down on my ass nearly as much. And during those warm winter days, we reaped the benefits of having a Meyer Lemon tree that produced such an excessive number of lemons that we didn't even know what to do with them all. And the thought of making lemon sorbet wasn't appalling, but enticing!

So, those pictures are half of the total number of lemons we harvested from our 1 solitary tree a few weeks ago. As you can see, we had quite a number of these citrus fruits. So, obviously I cracked open The Book and looked up all the lemon cookie recipes I had yet to make: Cream Cheese-Lemon Bows. Unfortunately, the recipe only calls for about 1 lemon, so that really didn't make much of a dent in our supply, but you do what you can! You juice the rest and make lemon juice ice cubes, and you peel the skin and freeze that too so you have lemon zest ready 2 go year round! Harvest the harvest forever!

But back to the cookies. These were really tasty! I have really come to love cream cheese based cookies because it gives the dough a little bit of a tangy bite, as well as a creamy buttery taste. And then with the lemon juice you get a really wonderful flavor, something a little out of the ordinary and just plain delicious. Piping the dough into bows can be a little bit of a pain in the ass, and most of mine ended up looking pretty shitty, but the ones that work out are indeed quite adorable. You could just as easily use a big fluted piping tip and make flower dots or whatever else you can manage. (Or use one of these? Never tried one, but maybe this would be a good recipe to try with one...)

So, being that it is winter and therefore A) lemon season, and B) cold and snowy outside, you really have no excuse not to make these. I want one right now. I want you to make some for me, because I'm too lazy to get out of my snuggie and go into the kitchen and bake something. Thankz.

Cream Cheese-Lemon Bows

Ingredients

1 cup unsalted butter (2 sticks), softened

3 ounces cream cheese, room temperature

1 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

2 teaspoons lemon zest, finely chopped

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

3 cups all-purpose flour, sifted

1 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 teaspoon coarse salt

Confectioners' sugar, for sprinkling

Directions

Put butter and cream cheese in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; mix on medium speed until creamy. Mix in granulated sugar. Add egg, lemon zest, and lemon juice; mix well. Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl; mix into butter mixture on low speed.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place a small amount of the dough in a pastry bag fitted with a large French tip (such as Ateco #865). Holding tip very close to the surface, pipe 3 1/2-inch bows onto baking sheets lined with parchment paper; space 1 inch apart. Refill pastry bag as needed with remaining dough. Bake cookies until golden brown on bottom, about 12 minutes. Let cool on sheets on wire racks, and sprinkle with confectioners' sugar. Cookies can be stored in airtight containers at room temperature up to 3 days.

****

{End Results}
Baking Difficultly: 3/5 (Making the dough is simple, it's just the pastry bag part that's a little tricky)
Ingredient Accessibility: 4/5 (Right, and if you have a lemon tree, this would be a 5/5)
Tastiness: 4.5/5
Attractiveness: 4.5/5
Is it worth it?: Definitely. Even if you don't do the bows, they just taste really yummy.

{Pairings}

Drink: I think a hot toddy would go well with this, but then again I'm just trying to find any excuse to have one of those.

Song: Lemonworld -- The National
Activity: Shoveling your car out from under 30 tons of snow! Yay!